Why me? Making sense of the “negatives”

frustration, angerWhy me? Why oh why me?

Ever catch yourself saying that?

That’s ok, no finger pointing here, certainly no embarrassment. In fact if you have said that, bravo to you! Good job.

No, really. It means you are just three little letters short of a huge transformative moment:

Why not me?

Aha‚Ķ Now you’re onto something, now you really have a cool idea to think about. And actually the more “Why me?” statements you have to transform – the more special you are, the bigger your capacity for growth, and the higher your potential is.

Seems backward?

Just yesterday I spoke with a client about past experiences, those so-called “negative” things that you think should never have happened to you. But here’s the problem with that belief – they DID happen. And no amount of “shouldn’t” statements will change that. So the logical turnaround – they SHOULD have happened because they DID. (Thank you, Byron Katie)

So you look at all those hurtful events, those painful experiences from your past, your childhood, your past relationships, things that maybe just happened yesterday, and you say, “Why not me?”

Of course you! Of course you went through all of that, and of course you came out the other side. And you know what else? You are a stronger, smarter, better person for it all. You have a bigger capacity for compassion and you learned things that made you completely unique.

There’s a saying (not mine) that steel becomes steel not because it was stroked with feathers and gently swished in spring water. Steel becomes steel because it is has felt the heat of the fire and the pounding of the iron hammer.

One of the best ways – if not the best – to clear negative blocks and trauma from your energy is to look at everything that you wish had never happened, every hurt, every pain, everything from birth to one minute ago, and say, “Yes, why not me?”

It would be very easy to grumble and vent about the challenges I face (and I do have my self-indulgent moments – sometimes lots of them). But when I am ready to move on and I take the experience and lesson like a vitamin.

It can be a big pill but it’s always an empowering one that brings with it a huge sense of comfort and relief.