The Secret to Lasting Change

I kept my New Year’s Resolution of 2012 – to not make any resolutions!

Instead I vowed in 2012 that I would strive to continue learning and be open to all new lessons that came my way.

Among the top 5:

  1. I am very good with metaphors and using them to explain my medical intuitive clients’ energy fissures
  2. I am very horrible at explaining to hairdressers how I want my hair cut
  3. If I just bring a picture to my stylist it will save me from strange hair (it took 4 weird cuts before I caught on to this one)
  4. If I need help, to put my pride away and just ask – help is always seconds away
  5. It is better to add than subtract

I won’t lie. Sitting here with normal hair after 8 months of weird hair, I am most happy about lessons #2 and #3. But for this post I’ll focus on #5.

Regarding lesson #5, and seeing that it is “New Year’s Resolution Time”, I will add my couple of cents.

“Eat it, it will make you beautiful!”

This was something my oldest sister  would coax me with when I was small. I had just met her for the first time and we took to each other instantly. Being 17 years older she was a cool adult sibling, and (in my 10 year old’s opinion) a big improvement on the sister and brother I already had. For her, I was the littlest sister and brought her maternal instincts to the forefront. And she would say, “Eat it, it will make you beautiful!” at every meal we ate together from that point on.

I caught myself almost repeating it to a medical intuitive client last week – then caught myself catching myself and said it anyway. I’ve said it to friends, I’ve said it to family, I’ve even said it to pets – why stop at my clients? But I altered the statement a little to “add this” instead of “eat this”.

I won’t tell anyone to diet – diet means subtract. Diet means swap (i.e. subtract then add). And diet is only temporary, despite your best intentions. I won’t tell anyone to stop doing any one thing and do another.

Results come from sustained change -> incentive to change comes motivation -> motivation comes from results.

It’s the best motivator – results. Your results. A testimonial will inspire you but changes you can see and feel in yourself will motivate you to continue past January.

A few (or maybe 10) years ago I was in my 20s and visiting my older sister. Piling my plate with veggies and food she said it again, “Eat it, it will make you beautiful!” I heard her, I did as she asked, but I didn’t see her reasoning.

Some time later, I was watching a cooking show and Chef Kylie Kwong was creating a gorgeous noodle vegetable soup. My mouth watered… noodles! Vegetables? Ok, but I want the noodles. I had to make it. And make it and make it again. I liked it so much I made it for 2 weeks straight – 14 days of adding 5 more servings of vegetables into my meal, without really thinking about it. Passing the mirror somewhere around day 10 I stopped, turned around and looked again.

Well, damn. My skin had changed. Where before it was between good and ok, now it was between Good (capital “g”) and GOOD. I saw it; my sister was right, my mom was right.

So rather than seeing the changes as subtractions, substitutions, eliminations, see the additions.

You’ve heard parents say at weddings that they are not “losing a son (or daughter) but gaining a daughter (or son)”?


  • You’re not losing a cheeseburger, you’re gaining a burger with whole grain bun (and a vegetable platter)
  • You’re not losing couch time, you’re gaining a fitter body, stronger muscles, and boosted mood
  • You’re not losing free time, you’re gaining peace and calm mind with a meditation practice
  • You’re adding in a daily green smoothie
  • You’re adding medical intuitive training to your existing skill-set, complementing your knowledge  (I’ve done this one 🙂

See how that goes? Take nothing away, not even the “bad” habits. Add the feel-good ones and without hard work, they will make you feel Good, or even GOOD. And if it so happens that the not-so-feel-good habits drop away on their own (and they usually do) it won’t be because you couldn’t have it or do it, but because *could* have it and just didn’t *want* it.

So to kick-start your personal long lasting change, one you’ll really stick to, for at least 14 days *add* it – you’ll see the proof and it will make you feel wonderful.