Medical Intuition and the Self Love Salad
We all haul psychic burdens around every day, every hour, even in sleep, and it’s no wonder our physical bodies scrunch and tighten, the vertebrae strained and stressed, to try to compensate for these energetic weights.
A psychic burden is simply something you are carrying in your psyche – your mind – letting it weigh you down, unable to let it go no matter how much you think you want to.
Here’s a truth about me: I put my foot in mouth more often than I’d like (albeit accidentally). I’ll say something that feels fairly innocent and innocuous (to me) only to cringe later and realize it wasn’t the best thing to say (out loud).
Embarrassed and contrite, 99% of the time I’ll apologize.
But then, very occasionally I won’t. In those one or two incidences, I’ll push back, “No, it’s not me – it’s you. Yes it is, it’s you.”
This doesn’t happen often, and usually only when my intuition is kicking my medical intuitive butt to deliver a message my friend needs to hear.
A couple of months ago I was with a couple of friends at a movie. While we were waiting for it to start, one friend told me his ex-girlfriend (whom he had not been in contact with for over a year) was now married. I asked him (in an apparently “funny tone”) how he knew that. He gave a simple answer, I said ok, then the movie started. But that wasn’t the end.
Two days later I received a very serious call from my friend, letting me know he had to tell me how he really needed to “clear the air” between us because my tone and question had caused offense.
I recently read a quote: “I rolled my eyes so hard, I saw my brain”. That is what happened during this call: my friend stated his case and I got a clear view of my skull tissue.
The easy thing would have been to admit contrition, apologize for offenses caused (intentional or not) and move on. But no, not this time.
If you’re like me you believe that we all have certain lessons, unique to each of us, to learn and accomplish in this lifetime. I don’t mean lessons such as, learning to drive a tractor or mountaineering. I mean life lessons. Those challenges that ram us in the shins like a perpetual invisible coffee table until we finally get it.
- You might have an easy time giving and receiving love, but a really hard one with forgiveness.
- Maybe forgiveness and forgetting slights is no big deal, but trust is.
- Or you have the ability to trust with no boundaries, but jealousy is a daily struggle.
What’s your life lesson? Easy – answer this question:
- What brings you down?
- What makes you mad?
- What makes you hurt?
- What makes you stop and shut down?
For my friend it was/is this: letting the opinion of another determine his self-worth.
And I told him this (once my eyes had rolled back from looking at my brain), as a friend and a medical intuitive, using my professional healing skills as a tool on myself so I could resist the urge to shake him (because I do care about him a lot).
It doesn’t matter one little tiny bit, I told him, what I think or say about what he knows or doesn’t know, how he reacts or how he finds out news about his ex or anyone else on god’s green earth. If he chooses, my opinions (or anyone else’s for that matter) about anything he says, thinks, or does need only be as significant to him as a free haircut coupon is to a bald man.
Somehow, in an attempt to show me I was wrong, he segued this conversation into a recent encounter he had had with a few young women on the skytrain. Long story short, they were dismissive of his friendly attempt to give directions. He felt slighted and insulted so proceeded to relay this incident to his friends and talk about how awful their behaviour was until he felt better. I’m still not sure how this story connects with my unintentional offense, but I’m OK with that. I think he meant to prove that words are wounding, that things hurt us and we can’t stop that from happening.
Well, now I’m not OK with that.
Our perceptions of ourselves and other people are like mirrors. The mirror I hold of myself is what I see to be true about me. It may be harsh, it may be kind, it may be just ok. And the mirrors I hold reflecting how I see other people follow the same formula. So I saw his story a bit differently:
- He met some girls.
- Their mirror of him was different than what he knew himself to be.
- They parted ways but he grabbed their mirror of him and hoisted its weight on his back.
- He proceeded to heft this mirror around and show it to his friends to validate and prove to himself that it was indeed a warped mirror.
Eventually the weight of his own perceptions gradually took precedence over this harsh mirror – but he never put it down. He added this new one to his collection and pulled it forward whenever he felt bad or insecure, or when his medical intuitive friend with the mild case of foot-in-mouth happened to say, “Oh. How did you know she got married?”
I don’t mean to sound high and wise. Boy do I know how hard it can be to separate your worth from your experiences with other people. It felt a lot like my last relationship took an emotional baseball bat and went to town on my self-esteem.
But oh the bliss of basking in outside approval, to be buoyed by it, to specifically make it the reason you drop your insecurities.
Yet approval/love/like given by another given can also be taken away. I told my friend this in an attempt to lessen the load he was carrying around from his encounter with these skytrain girls (and from my comment). It took a few tries for me to explain it properly without sounding cynical and isolating.
We humans are such capricious creatures. We love something/someone one day, can’t stand it next week, like them a little more two months from now, then change our minds again. I used to madly, deeply love a boy band when I was 13 – the same one that makes my brain bleed a little bit when their “music” comes on the radio today.
The secret to good skin is simple – *you make it yourself*. I tell this to anyone that asks what I put on my (previously horrible, now quite passable) skin. I use nothing on the outside I can’t find on the drugstore shelves – but I’m completely particular about the food that my body uses to “make” my skin.
The secret to love and self-worth (i.e. love of self) is similar – *you make it yourself*. You give yourself so much love from the inside out that you are already complete before anyone tries to add (or take away) from what you already have from an unlimited source.
A healthy love balance is not so much a juggling act or weights and measures but a “salad approach”. This means you build your bowl with all the color, ingredients and things that make you feel good, complete in and of itself.
Then the love, compliments, appreciation received from outside sources become like extra garnish on top, adding colour, complementing, and adding a vibe you choose to appreciate. But still an extra vibe that you can pick off like stale croutons – while still holding the 100% completeness underneath.
What’s on your back? If you were a medical intuitive client would I see you carting around mirrors from other people that don’t belong to you? Skewed perceptions of yourself that you’ve chosen to bear burden for?
Time to take a look at your bowl. Does it look like a pile of croutons?
Contact me for a Complimentary Discovery Session and we’ll use medical intuitive healing to clear away the confusing garnish and find your truth, the love “salad” underneath.